Love/Hate

I said when I started this blog that it would be a completely honest account of all things marathon, and that is what this post is about to be. It may sound mad to get so emotional about putting one foot in front of the other but I have really learnt over the last couple of weeks that training for a marathon is a truly personal experience and not always a good one. I knew there would be low times but I thought that those points would be related to not feeling too great about running 8 miles on a cold and drizzly Thursday afternoon after work, I didn't expect to feel like I have felt over the past couple of weeks. 

I hope this post doesn't come across as too negative. I just want be honest with myself more than anything, so that when I look back when my brain is clouded with the memories of the London atmosphere on the 13th of April and the feeling of crossing the finish line...I can stop and remember that no, sometimes...it just sucked! 

I was genuinely really enjoying training, I've loved seeing the miles clock up on the Nike+ app, being able to run further and further and feel my muscles get stronger and stronger (and maybe being able to munch on a few more treats). But the week before last it all just suddenly became a burden, the way my shifts fell meant that it was just getting in the way of everything and I was having to squeeze my life around it to the point of exhaustion. One day the only way I had time to fit in a run was to use it as a mode of transport to take me to my boyfriend's house (which also meant that I had to run back the next day). I sat at work last Friday having a bit of a bitch about it and coming out with hyperbolic statements such as "I wish I'd never bothered signing up", "It's the worst thing ever", "I don't want to do it anymore".

I was also worrying about the fundraising side of it and the prospect of having to raise £1800. I was previously really excited about the prospect of getting some local press coverage to generate some cash to top up my fundraising but it was looking like at one point that things weren't going to shape up the way I'd hoped and it really got me down.

I tried to get in the mindset of 'new week, new start' but last week was even worse. I managed Monday and Tuesdays runs but by Wednesday I just couldn't face it. I got up in time to do 6 miles before work and there was no physical reason why I couldn't run, but I stood in front of the bathroom mirror in my onesie to have my head and my feet tell me that it wasn't going to happen today. I felt really guilty about it all day and tacked on an extra 3 miles to Thursdays run. 

I let myself down again on Saturday by doing 8.5 miles instead of 14. I'd been working all day and then had to go and get my photo taken for the article thats hopefully going to be going in the local paper. It was all getting a bit late, cold and rainy so I made the decision before hand to cut it short. The saving grace was that I actually had a really good run with my running buddy Emma. She assured me that its normal to feel like I do and that sometimes its ok to shove the schedule. I ran faster than I normally do and it was the first time in 2 weeks that I actually felt good about and enjoyed running.

I've been back on track this week but I'm still not loving it to the extent that I was a few weeks a go. Yesterday marked 2 months till the big day and the way I'm feeling right now it can't come soon enough. I'm really looking forward to just running for the love of it and not just because I have to.

I'm really going to push next week, try to enjoy it and remember why I decided to do this.

Has anyone else feeling like this about the marathon at the moment? 58 days to go...

Keep on running (whether you have to or because you want to)

Holly

x

On a lighter note...heres a picture of me just after stacking it in the mud on mile 5 of 16 a few weeks a go. Despite the Hitchin Hoop being all bogged up and me falling in it, I really enjoyed this run. 

Marathon Training Plan Week 1

Well here I am on my rest day after week 1 of using an official marathon training plan and looking ahead to week 2...and what a week its been both physically and emotionally.

As I mentioned in my last post I decided to use the Nike+ coach (you will learn that I'm a bit of a Nike+ fan girl) as I use the apps to track all my running stats and got a Nike+ running watch for Christmas (see!). I looked through the plan before I commited and decided that it was doable and would fit around my lifestyle. As its also within the app it sends you reminders of what training you have coming up which keeps you on track/puts the guilters on if you're sitting on the sofa with a cuppa and a biscuit trying to justify a second rest day. 

The downside...once again it assumes a 9 to 5 job so the rest day is always on a Sunday, which is fine every other weekend but will make things even more tough going for the inbetween weekends. I'm a glass half full person though, so I'm trying to think that maybe it might be quite good if a part of my life does have a routine. I work shifts and the patterns change every week so I'm used to not having a daily routine as such so although this plan might sometimes be a hinderance it might also bring more order to my life. We shall see...

So, how is the training actually going?

Well physically, so far its not too bad. The runs in the week are challenging enough to complete every day but not pushing me so hard that I want to cry (yet). Even with my 12 miler yesterday I still felt not too bad until the last mile when my legs started to protest. Thats what confirms for me that running is all in the mind, I know I can run further than 12 miles (and I have to next weekend) but I think because my brain knew that I was doing 12 miles it started to protest when it knew that the finish was near. I can definitely feel myself getting fitter and starting to tone up properly so I'm really enjoying that bit and looking forward to seeing the changes to my body as my training progresses.

Emotinally, its starting to show a bit. I've worked a couple of day time shifts this last week which means I had to get up early, run and then go straight off to work. I've also been doing some overtime as well to pay for some post marathon rewards so I'm not going to lie it has been tough. However, hats off to anyone who is training alongside a 9-5 job, you have to train at some very unfun times of the day and I admire you for it. I have enjoyed seeing the miles rack up on Nike+ though (there she goes again) and I just keep trying to focus on completing the challenge and the feeling I'll get on the day. 

Which leads me on to some quite exciting news...as some of you may or may not know. I am running for the charity I volunteer for Leonard Cheshire Disability. Because I volunteer for my local service Symonds House, Leonard Cheshire are kindly allowing all funds raised to be donated directly to the service. So I got a call from Leonard Cheshire's press office on Monday and they left me a message asking me if I would be interested in doing some media work with them. They want to interview me for an article to go in the local press which will raise awareness of the service and the charity and hopefully also generate some revenue on my fundrasing page (cheeky hint there). Its quite exciting and an honour to be chosen to represent the charity for such a big event so I'm really looking forward to doing it. I shall keep you posted on the progress of that little piece of news.

I'm also really happy that I'm starting to connect more with the running community on Twitter, Instagram and through blogging. I've been chatting to a few other runners that tweet and others with running blogs and its really helps to know that you aren't alone. I don't know anyone else close to me thats running the marathon so its great to have somewhere to turn and others to share the experience with who know what its like. I'm also up for chatting to other runners both bloggers and tweeters/instagrammers so please feel free to get in touch on Twitter and Instagram. It would be great to chat! 

This post is scheduled for 9am so by the time this goes live I'll hopefully be eating my porridge in preperation for a 5 miler. I'm looking forward to exploring the Hitchin Outer Orbital Path! 

Happy Running!

Holly

x

100 days to go

Three things that rocked my world today...

1) Its 2014

2) Its 2014...which means that its marathon year

3) Its 2014...which means its marathon year and today marks 100 days to go!

I know it might sound a little cocky but I wasn't really worried about the marathon up until this point. Phrases such as "I've already run half way", "Theres no point starting proper training until after Christmas" and "If a 101 year old man can do it then so can I" have been batted around, however it literally was only today, when the London Marathon Facebook page stated that there is 100 days to go that a new phrase has been thrown out there..."I'm scared".

However, I'm also excited. I'm excited to kick start 2014 with a challenge, raise some money for the charity that I volunteer for (Leonard Cheshire Disability, I'll chat more about that another time) and for the actual day itself. If the buzz I got from the Standalone 10k and the Great North Run is anything to go by then running the London Marathon is going to blow my mind, or at least my feet and my muscles. 

I'm starting what I will deem to be my first training run tomorrow morning and I would love it if you would like to follow me on my journey by reading my blog, you can follow me on Bloglovin or just drop in when you fancy.

I have also just signed up to Jantastic to make sure I stay on track. It doesn't matter if you've just stepped into your first pair of running shoes or you're doing your first ultra, it looks like a great way of getting motivated towards a goal and sticking at it. Theres two days left to sign up so I've got a couple of warm up runs to do before I can start logging my miles.

I love to meet new people so if you're running the marathon, signing up to Jantastic or just have a crazy love of running then please drop me an email or get in touch with me on Twitter/Instagram at @ohhollygosh

Thanks for reading, I hope you stick with me.

Happy Running!

Holly

xx